Heartless

You have had your heart removed by a betrayal and You are the Robot!

You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Wants

I want something I can’t have…. And please take note that I said I want something that I can’t have and not I need something that I can’t have. There is a Mariana Trench full of differences between what we want and what we need and most people just don’t realize this nor are they willing to even acknowledge that the differences exist. But I digress and this is a discussion better left for a later date.

You would be amazed how often I find myself in this situation. I am known for this and my mind wrestles with it daily, so the question I am asking is how should I handle it? I know there is a wide range of possible wants but can’t haves here (from opening my heart up to someone special to the very sexy lady I met in another state or even that chocolate candy bar calling my name), but in general what is the best way to cope when confronted with a bad case of the “wants?”

Well, now I try to avoid what I can’t have and I just walk away and don’t look back (and this means I have to put another brick in the wall around what’s left of my heart.) There’s no point in staring it down if it will never be mine, right? But then there is that other option I sometime choose or maybe it simply chooses me, I’m not really quite sure which it is. I become almost obsessed with it, I examine almost every detail until I find something I don’t want or need in it anymore. This “Ten Point Check” is often time consuming and I find myself asking, “Now why didn’t I just walk away earlier?” Not only did I waste my time pondering it but now I don’t want it and I still can’t have it!

Are there any answers out there???

“If you need me to I'll wait until September.
It's come and gone Novembers’ on its way.
So easy to forget and hard to remember,
the way to getting back our self esteem

No regrets. You've got no one left!
I hope that every step,
reminds you of the ones that you left.” One Less Reason

Till next time - Live in peace and live NOW!

Minds

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. - Admiral H. G. Rickover

Dreams

Have you ever wondered where a dream goes when it dies?

There must be a place, somewhere in the swirling mists of time where it lies, smothered by its own gathering dust, waiting, hoping for someone else to dream it, to give it life and breath once again. Have you ever tried to dream a dream that had died? It is much like visiting an old sepulcher, like wandering through the cemetery of the mind with piercing eyes looking to and fro and side to side hunting and searching for the lost grave marker. You finally find it through the stillness of the dark recesses of your mind - the unnamed stone marking the final resting site of the dream – tarnished and weathered a little more since the last time you visited, a little moldy from neglect and the damp night air, with the white roses planted beside it to cover the fetid stench of death now overgrown into a maze of un-pruned brambles.

The irony of all of this is that a cemetery is really not a place of death, but rather it is a place of memories, memories where life goes on though stilled in fading stone monuments. A cemetery is but a museum for the aching grief-stricken mind, embalmed in healing silence for the living to experience and the dead to rest in.

I gave up a dream I held on to for the past ten years and it was about time too, because even when things seem to be rosy and bright on the surface, they were slowly consuming me from the inside, eating me alive. My determination to keep this dream alive was not but a vainly disguised form of obstinacy, a tenacious and unwavering persistence for a wrong cause, a wrong principle, a wrong love.

My dream, may it forever rest in peace.

Velocity

The theoretical maximum velocity of a sheep in a vacuum is expressed in sheepsecs (Ssx), calculated as follows:

Speed of light (c) divided by wooldrag (Wd) + Welshmen (Wm), where wooldrag is a species-defined drag coefficient determined by the length and pliability of the fleece and Welshmen is the number of locals who have turned up in their wellies, and are hanging on for dear life.

Wooldrags have recently been calculated by researchers at CERN, and the latest experiments shed some light on the phenomenon, but it is still mysterious. The effect is similar to friction here on Earth, but is due to the interaction of the wool and fluctuations in the quantum vacuum. Researchers have applied to the EU for further funding, but it has been put on hold as a result of the recent outbreak of foot and mouth disease.

For example, an unshorn Welsh Mountain Badger Face, with a wooldrag of 67, chased by three Welshmen will ultimately attain a Ssx of c/(67+3), or 4,282.74 km/sec.

Alternatively, a newly-clipped Finnish Landrace, with a wooldrag of 23, worried by just one Welshman has a theoretical Ssx of c/(23+1), or 12,491 km/sec.

Clearly, the difference in these two results means that a compromise standard is required. The El Reg Ssx uses the classic Cheviot as its sheep of choice, with a wooldrag of 50. Wm is in this case 0, since everyone knows that Welshmen do not in fact have intimate relations with sheep and any reference to the same is just a cheap attempt to drum up laughs.

The Vulture Central standard velocity for a sheep in a vacuum is, therefore, c/(50+0), or 5,995 km/sec.

Live Your Own Life

Ago vestri own vita , vobis mos intereo vestri own nex - Live your own life, for you will die your own death

Dum Spiro, Spero

Dum Spiro, Spero - While I breath, I hope!

"What Drives You" Test Results

The WHAT DRIVES YOU Test

4 = Accomplishment , 3 = Love , 0 = Acknowledgment , 0 = Safety

Well done!

As you can see, there are 4 Categories/Outcomes. See in which category you scored the highest and scroll down to read the results.

WHAT HAPPENS if you score the same in several categories? Don't panic, it's actually a GOOD thing. Why? because it actually means you're more balanced and as a reward you get to read more categories here :)

ACCOMPLISHMENT What drives you in life is the NEED for ACCOMPLISHMENT. You appear to have an insatiable taste for success. Most of the time you're very stimulated, both socially and professionally. You succeed where others wouldn't even dare to try anything.
You accomplish a lot of things because you dare! You are both courageous and intuitive.
For you, the most important thing is to believe in something yourself. Problem is, sometimes you're too much of a 'believer' and you get yourself caught up in your dreams for success or ideal love.

Tips: the key to a better self lies in thinking before acting. Your self-confidence and impatience result in taking too many risks. Try to learn to be patient and careful ,take risks only when they appear to be the best solution for the given situation. Don’t rush things too much!
People who fall into this category are usually stubborn. But stubbornness combined with determination and self-assurance can be a tricky mix. Remember, from time to time, to pause and question your motives. Sometimes when we're too focused we continue running ahead and we lose track of important things’-evaluate yourself occasionally.

LOVE What drives you in life is the NEED for LOVE.
Is it maybe because your parents were too indifferent? Did you have a lonely childhood? Or maybe a big emotional deception? In any case, today what matters the most for you is LOVE. Ah,l'Amour! In order to feel fulfilled and alive you need "to love and be loved". For Love you could do anything: change your hairstyle, your life, leave everything and follow the one you love till the end of the world! The DOWNSIDE is that even when someone loves you, it isn't enough! It’s never enough for you is it?!

Tips: Love isn't necessarily romantic love. Learn to appreciate Love in a more general way. You shouldn't keep your love just for your partner, but also your family, friends or simply other people in need. You tend to give yourself to your partners a 100%(body & soul) and you end up scaring them off(you give too much because secretly you expect the same in return, it's called SENTIMENTAL BLACKMAIL. Ask yourself why you give so much? (Come on, be honest with yourself.)Say it out loud! You WANT to be Loved, and you want it badly! But are you really sure if you know WHAT you WANT and what you NEED? Note there's a difference, and YES, it's important. If you learn to love without expecting anything in return, you'll be always pleasantly surprised.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT What drives you in life is the need for ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
Is it because you're too shy or quite the opposite, very self-assured and self-centered?
In any case, you do everything to distinguish yourself in one way or another.
UPSIDE IS: you're very sociable and extroverted, you're probably charismatic, you know how to please, seduce (and not just physically).
DOWNSIDE IS: you feel pretty down when you're isolated or when your merits aren't acknowledged as they should be. Thing is, you're too sensitive to what others think of you or might say about you and it has an important influence on the way you live your life. (Are you sure it's your life?)

Tips: most of us need to be acknowledged for our qualities and merits, to be noticed and appreciated. But remember that the people around us don't live their lives just for the sake of observing us and judging us. Sure it happens occasionally, especially if you live in a small hell-hole, but so do the people around you, and the best way to make them miserable is by proving them how 'free' you are :) - that was a joke (or was it?!). Point being, time flies and we probably have one life, shouldn't you spend it in a way that is the most enjoyable for you? DOES it really matter what your neighbors think of your sex life? your job? your shitty car? Remember (and remind those who don't), ACCEPTANCE is the key, people who love you should accept you for what you are, and if they try to project their wishes on you, remind them that happiness is a different thing for each of us. Start doing things that suit you, not the audience.

SAFETY What drives you in life is the NEED for SAFETY.
You are probably the kind of person who gave up on their childhood dreams, your first ambitions...Today, you have a certain number of achievements in your personal life and in your career. You're quite happy with those, and you try to keep them without 'shaking' things too much. Of course, this has it's advantages. You live in your own little world where all the possibilities of defeat are limited and where you don't risk getting hurt.
Bad surprises don't occur in your life very often. BUT neither do great moments of joy or excitement. You don't even know how much you're missing out on because of your lack of curiosity!!!

Tips: Happiness isn't achieved by avoiding sadness or suffering. You have to get out there and move, take some risks and above all do not refuse CHANGE!
Even better, you should be the one to initiate those changes! Life is constantly offering us a multitude of opportunities to do better, to improve our situation and our life.



You scored higher than 81% on Accomplishment

You scored higher than 72% on Love

You scored higher than 0% on Acknowledgment

You scored higher than 0% on Safety

A Musing

Most recently, I found that I've been fighting a war within my mind, a conflagration of sorts if you will. It seems that the more I discover about myself; my likes, my wants, my needs, my desires, the more I wish I was someone else. And I found that I want to be someone in particular who is cold and callous, without any regard for the feelings of others. I want to be someone who is self-centered, vain, conceited, high maintenance and has to be the center of attention all the time. I want to be someone who can turn and walk away from commitments and relationships without giving any reasons why or even caring beyond their own primal desire for excitement. Perhaps I want to be someone just like you.

And then I found that if I were watching myself from high above, you know, the proverbial thirty thousand foot view, I would probably see my shoulders sagging, with my eyes lowered as I plod along listening intently and without blinking to a song on the radio that echoes through my mind from long ago, “Someone saved my life tonight...someone saved my life tonight...” From this vantage point, it appears that I am just going about my worldly struggles in a zombie like state with a demon pursuing and barking after me like some rabid dog. I attempt to chase it away and I try and scare it off, I even laugh at it, but most of the time, to preserve what little sanity I have left, I simply pretend I don't even see or hear it. When I do ignore it, it goes away for a day or two but it always sniffs its way me back like a blood hound on the trail of its prey. And each time it returns with madness glowing in its eyes and looking a little different than the time before. Sometimes I simply fight it again; and sometimes I let it consume and devour me. I guess this feeling is all the more reason to want to be more like you.

So, last night, I finally slept in the darkness, the black, black darkness. I closed my eyes and prayed until I lost count of my own words, my own thoughts, until I drifted to an abyss as deep as the gaping hole in my soul all the while wishing I was just like you.

Till next time: Live in peace, live with hope and live NOW.