50
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday!!!
Wow!!! Happy Birthday Scorpion! Now, you're
49
and just very short one year away from fifty!
Time flies and the big five-o will be here
before you know it!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Happy Birthday!!!
Wow!!! Happy Birthday Scorpion! Now, you're
48
and just very short two years away from fifty!
Time flies and the big five-o will be here
before you know it!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Betrayal
"One should rather die than be betrayed.
There is no deceit in death.
It delivers precisely what it has promised.
Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.”
Steven Deitz
There is no deceit in death.
It delivers precisely what it has promised.
Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.”
Steven Deitz
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Control - The Deadreamalone
The destruction of our dreams, those things that are most important to our survival as an individual by concerning ourselves, no, by permitting ourselves to be controlled and manipulated by what others think about us or say about us is more important to who we are as opposed to what we feel inside. We sanction them to extinguish our dreams by giving their mere words control over that which makes us unique. Hold on to your dreams and who you are!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The Deadream Alone - End of Part 1
As I found myself standing once again in the dank stale air within the vault, I heard a soft whisper, “Lance.” “Lance, are you okay?”
I opened my eyes and found that I was back in the ‘One Headlight’ with my friends and loves. I shook my head as if I was trying to shake water off of me and I said, “Yeah, I’m okay, I think.” “I just had the weirdest dream, vision or I’m not sure exactly what, but I’m okay.”
Kieran looked at me with her chin cocked down and her lips pursed and pouted, “Did you go somewhere without me?”
Diane shot her an angry gaze and said, “you’re not going anywhere with him unless I’m with the two of you.”
“Look” I said, “We’ve been at this for hours and I’ve got to wrap it up, so here’s the big finale!” I said as I raised my hands above my head and waved them about.
“The world is full of torment, pain and agony.” I started with a grim look on my face. “The world is a hell of our own making, a putrid sea of fear, loss, loneliness and hopelessness.” I continued looking at each and every one of them directly making eye contact before moving on to the next person. “It is a place where we trap ourselves in the hell of our own confused, disjointed minds’ making and it’s not until we realize this that we can be take the first step to being free and in control.”
“We condemn ourselves to hell on earth through our own feelings of guilt, our unspoken sense of loss, whether real or imagined, and our inability not to be able to see past or move past those things that bind us into hell we create.”
I took a deep breath and continued while pointing a finger at Diane. “Guilt, fear, loss, loneliness and the pain that we imagine entombs us into the very fabric of the hell we have created and binds us to it.” I paused for effect and then continued. “We cannot escape it on our own.”
“Some of us suffer from not acting on the desires and dreams that we have in life and of life, some of our suffering is because of self-implied social edicts or pressures to conform, some of us suffer because of shyness and still others suffer because they try and superficially cover the ugliness and loneliness that they feel within themselves with the trappings of false beauty, impiety and the appearance of wealth on the outside.” I sighed, shook my head again and continued. “We try to be something that we are not so that others cannot see the darkness that is really lurking deep inside of us.”
Diane interrupted, “Like when someone says that they are ‘Real?’”
“Yes.” I said. “That’s a good example.” I looked at Nancy and said, “Remember the part of the story where Alice is bragging about how ‘real’ she is, well that’s just a cover for all of her insecurities, irrational fears and her sense of abandonment.” I paused and sipped my soda. “And I think that I just realized how all of that mess gets handed down from generation to generation.”
“Sometimes hell is what you don’t do and then you get swallowed up by shadow creatures from within the recesses of your own minds making.” I continued.
“Wonderland is a hell of someone’s making that will be passed down from generation to generation.”
I stood up and said, “I hope you all enjoyed the story.” I turned and took Diane’s hand and continued, “But my lady and I have places to go and things to do!” I turned and looked into her eyes and winked. “So, we will be on our way now.”
“Kieran, do you need a ride home? We’ll be glad to drop you off if you want.”
Kieran simply nodded her assent and bounded in right behind Diane as we left the ‘One Headlight’ arm in arm.
As I walked out of the noisy establishment, I looked to my right and noticed, for the first time an etching in the rough oak wood, an Ouroboros, the ancient symbol of a snake or sometimes a dragon in a circle eating its own tail. I stopped dead in my tracks and remembered one of the meanings behind this symbol. I turned to Diane and said, “I remember reading about this emblem, it represents the eternal cycle of things. Once they end, they start all over again.”
I paused and then felt a cold shiver run through my body. I continued, “But, I think I’ve realized another side of this drawing.” “Just like Alice, if we don’t make changes in our life, we will keep making the same mistakes, errors in judgment and we will hold onto the very fears that keep us bound in chains.”
I took a deep breath, “We have the power to break the vicious circle, but only if we realize that we are the problem as well as the solution.” “We sometimes need someone to help us understand the hell that we have enslaved ourselves in and then tear down the walls that trap us in the dark corners of our mind.”
“Our real problem lies with not wanting to see what is really inside of us.”
Diane looked deep into my eyes and said, “You’d still help her wouldn’t you?”
“I’d help anybody free themselves from hell especially knowing that they made it themselves, if they’d let me.” I said matter-of-factly. “But, even more importantly, to keep the terror and horror that is Wonderland from being passed from generation to generation.”
“In order to live life to the fullest, we must break free of the chains and shackles of our own minds” “Hell or Wonderland is a horrible place to exist in. You will never know what is it to live until you break free of the circle.”
“Wow, you danced around that question very well!” Diane quipped.
Diane took my arm and said, “Come on, let’s go and drop Kieran off at her home and then go look at the house we liked on John Ridge Cove.” “The nights calling me to break free of some of these chains that have me shackled to this world and I want you to help let me loose.” Diane said with a sheepish grin.
We walked across the lot to the car and started another adventure.
I opened my eyes and found that I was back in the ‘One Headlight’ with my friends and loves. I shook my head as if I was trying to shake water off of me and I said, “Yeah, I’m okay, I think.” “I just had the weirdest dream, vision or I’m not sure exactly what, but I’m okay.”
Kieran looked at me with her chin cocked down and her lips pursed and pouted, “Did you go somewhere without me?”
Diane shot her an angry gaze and said, “you’re not going anywhere with him unless I’m with the two of you.”
“Look” I said, “We’ve been at this for hours and I’ve got to wrap it up, so here’s the big finale!” I said as I raised my hands above my head and waved them about.
“The world is full of torment, pain and agony.” I started with a grim look on my face. “The world is a hell of our own making, a putrid sea of fear, loss, loneliness and hopelessness.” I continued looking at each and every one of them directly making eye contact before moving on to the next person. “It is a place where we trap ourselves in the hell of our own confused, disjointed minds’ making and it’s not until we realize this that we can be take the first step to being free and in control.”
“We condemn ourselves to hell on earth through our own feelings of guilt, our unspoken sense of loss, whether real or imagined, and our inability not to be able to see past or move past those things that bind us into hell we create.”
I took a deep breath and continued while pointing a finger at Diane. “Guilt, fear, loss, loneliness and the pain that we imagine entombs us into the very fabric of the hell we have created and binds us to it.” I paused for effect and then continued. “We cannot escape it on our own.”
“Some of us suffer from not acting on the desires and dreams that we have in life and of life, some of our suffering is because of self-implied social edicts or pressures to conform, some of us suffer because of shyness and still others suffer because they try and superficially cover the ugliness and loneliness that they feel within themselves with the trappings of false beauty, impiety and the appearance of wealth on the outside.” I sighed, shook my head again and continued. “We try to be something that we are not so that others cannot see the darkness that is really lurking deep inside of us.”
Diane interrupted, “Like when someone says that they are ‘Real?’”
“Yes.” I said. “That’s a good example.” I looked at Nancy and said, “Remember the part of the story where Alice is bragging about how ‘real’ she is, well that’s just a cover for all of her insecurities, irrational fears and her sense of abandonment.” I paused and sipped my soda. “And I think that I just realized how all of that mess gets handed down from generation to generation.”
“Sometimes hell is what you don’t do and then you get swallowed up by shadow creatures from within the recesses of your own minds making.” I continued.
“Wonderland is a hell of someone’s making that will be passed down from generation to generation.”
I stood up and said, “I hope you all enjoyed the story.” I turned and took Diane’s hand and continued, “But my lady and I have places to go and things to do!” I turned and looked into her eyes and winked. “So, we will be on our way now.”
“Kieran, do you need a ride home? We’ll be glad to drop you off if you want.”
Kieran simply nodded her assent and bounded in right behind Diane as we left the ‘One Headlight’ arm in arm.
As I walked out of the noisy establishment, I looked to my right and noticed, for the first time an etching in the rough oak wood, an Ouroboros, the ancient symbol of a snake or sometimes a dragon in a circle eating its own tail. I stopped dead in my tracks and remembered one of the meanings behind this symbol. I turned to Diane and said, “I remember reading about this emblem, it represents the eternal cycle of things. Once they end, they start all over again.”
I paused and then felt a cold shiver run through my body. I continued, “But, I think I’ve realized another side of this drawing.” “Just like Alice, if we don’t make changes in our life, we will keep making the same mistakes, errors in judgment and we will hold onto the very fears that keep us bound in chains.”
I took a deep breath, “We have the power to break the vicious circle, but only if we realize that we are the problem as well as the solution.” “We sometimes need someone to help us understand the hell that we have enslaved ourselves in and then tear down the walls that trap us in the dark corners of our mind.”
“Our real problem lies with not wanting to see what is really inside of us.”
Diane looked deep into my eyes and said, “You’d still help her wouldn’t you?”
“I’d help anybody free themselves from hell especially knowing that they made it themselves, if they’d let me.” I said matter-of-factly. “But, even more importantly, to keep the terror and horror that is Wonderland from being passed from generation to generation.”
“In order to live life to the fullest, we must break free of the chains and shackles of our own minds” “Hell or Wonderland is a horrible place to exist in. You will never know what is it to live until you break free of the circle.”
“Wow, you danced around that question very well!” Diane quipped.
Diane took my arm and said, “Come on, let’s go and drop Kieran off at her home and then go look at the house we liked on John Ridge Cove.” “The nights calling me to break free of some of these chains that have me shackled to this world and I want you to help let me loose.” Diane said with a sheepish grin.
We walked across the lot to the car and started another adventure.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Another Year Gone By!
Another year behind us and another Birthday to celebrate! Getting old, aren't we?
Everyday a new line or winkle seems to appear before our very eyes and if we notice them, so must everybody else. Happy Birthday Scorpion!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas!
“Living a free life to the fullest is seeing that which cannot be seen through eyes no longer blinded by our personal visions, by looking beyond the veil of worldly distractions and discomforts and removing the bonds and chains that bind us in fear to change and freedom, to becoming something that few are, truly free and living a life uncontrolled, unfettered by others.”
Friday, November 12, 2010
Do You?
What do you do when nothing you do is good enough and the verbal abuse from your imperfections is incessant from the one who is supposed to love and support you?
What pressures do you feel when your constantly belittled and berated?
Do you crawl into a bottle and hide in the drunken stupor that you embrace as a dear friend or do you lash out and blame others for the pain and hurt that you feel when the one you loves has intense disdain for all men?
Do you know what unleashes the fury and rage from her that comes your way each and every day?
Do you clinch your gun close to your breast in a drunken rage and threaten those near and dear to you because of the pain that they inflict on you?
Do you know or care that she never will forgive and therefore never be forgiven?
Do you know that the choices we make or don’t make are the path which we walk and that they will lead us exactly where we want to go?
Do you know? Do you?
What pressures do you feel when your constantly belittled and berated?
Do you crawl into a bottle and hide in the drunken stupor that you embrace as a dear friend or do you lash out and blame others for the pain and hurt that you feel when the one you loves has intense disdain for all men?
Do you know what unleashes the fury and rage from her that comes your way each and every day?
Do you clinch your gun close to your breast in a drunken rage and threaten those near and dear to you because of the pain that they inflict on you?
Do you know or care that she never will forgive and therefore never be forgiven?
Do you know that the choices we make or don’t make are the path which we walk and that they will lead us exactly where we want to go?
Do you know? Do you?
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Insight - The End
 |
| The Deadream Alone Nightmares Are Real |
I opened my eyes and found that I was back in the ‘One Headlight’ with my friends and lovers. I shook my head as if I was trying to shake something off of me and I said, “Yeah, I’m okay, I think.” “I just had the weirdest dream, vision or I’m not sure exactly what, but I’m okay.”
Kieran looked at me with her chin cocked down and her lips pursed and pouted, “Did you go somewhere without me?”
Diane shot her an angry gaze and said, “Not unless I’m with the two of you.”
“Look” I said, “We’ve been at this for hours and I’ve got to wrap it up, so here’s the big finale!” I said as I raised my hands above my head and waved them about.
“The world is full of torment, pain and agony.” I started with a grim look on my face. “The world is a hell of our own making, a putrid sea of fear, loss, loneliness and hopelessness.” I continued looking at each and every one of them directly making eye contact before moving on to the next person. “It is a place where we trap ourselves in a hell of our own minds’ making and it’s not until we realize this that we can be take the first step to being free.”
“We condemn ourselves to hell on earth through our own feelings of guilt, a sense of loss, whether real or imagined, and our inability not to be able to see past or move past those things that bind us into hell.”
I took a deep breath and continued while pointing a finger at Diane. “Guilt, fear, loss, loneliness and the pain that we imagine entombs us into the very fabric of the hell we have created and binds us to it.” I paused for effect and then continued. “We cannot escape it on our own.”
“Some of us suffer from not acting on desires that we have in life, some suffer because of social edicts, some suffer because of shyness and still others suffer because they try and superficially cover the ugliness and loneliness that they feel within themselves with the trappings of false beauty, impiety and the appearance of wealth on the outside.” I sighed, shook my head again and continued. “We try to be something that we are not so that others cannot see the darkness that is really lurking deep inside of us.”
Diane interrupted, “Like when someone says that they are ‘Real?’”
“Yes.” I said. “That’s a good example.” I looked at Nancy and said, “Remember the part of the story where Alice is bragging about how ‘real’ she is, well that’s just a cover for all of her insecurities, irrational fears and her sense of abandonment.” I paused and sipped my soda. “And I think that I just realized how all of that mess gets handed down from generation to generation.”
“Sometimes hell is what you don’t do and then you get swallowed up by shadow creatures from within the recesses of your own minds making.” I continued.
“Wonderland is hell of someone’s making that will be passed down from generation to generation.”
I stood up and said, “I hope you all enjoyed the story.” I turned and took Diane’s hand and continued, “But my lady and I have places to go and things to do!” I turned and looked into her eyes and winked. “So, we will be on our way now.”
“Kieran, do you need a ride home? We’ll be glad to drop you off if you want.”
Kieran simply nodded her assent and bounded in right behind Diane as we left the ‘One Headlight’ arm in arm.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Curse
 |
| The Deadream Alone |
A heady aroma overtook me and I became dizzy. I leaned back against the wall to keep myself from falling and through my dizziness I thought I saw the soft red glow spread across the floor and up the wall until the entire room was softly glowing. I turned and saw a thin red line trailing out the door of the vault and it was moving towards the entrance of ‘Wonderland.’
In my haste I quickly turned and started to run after it, but I was overpowered by a noxious green mist and sulfurous odor drifting up and out of the remains of the scorpion which I had crushed into the ground. I looked about and found that the mist was now completely filling the vault area and it was wafting out into the caverns beyond the door.
My head swam and I felt faint as I sought to steady myself against the wall filled with the numbered drawers.
As I leaned against the wall, I notice that one of the drawers was now glowing brighter red than the surrounding ones and I looked to see the inscription therein. ‘Jack Ridge Road’, I read aloud and as soon as those words came out of my mouth, I was transported to another place.
I know not if I was actually physically transported to this place or if this was merely a vision brought on by the noxious fumes filling the vault but, whatever was the case I found myself in a house. I could see a wide open living room with a large window and a fireplace overlooking a large covered patio, a table and a few chairs were strewn about on it. Across the short yard was a cedar fence with a single tall full tree to the left beyond its protected boundaries.
Between the fence and the porch was a large in ground pool with three little girls playing in the yard. They were laughing and giggling as they ran about playing a makeshift game of ‘tag, you’re it’. The grass that I could see was a deep green color as were the needles on the pine tree.
As I stood there transfixed by the sight, I noticed the sky turn gray as did the grass, the pine tree and everything else that I could see, even the interior of the house. Everything suddenly froze in time and space. The birds stopped in midflight, the girls stopped in mid-run and the cat walking across the window ledge was frozen in place with one paw up in the air.
Then, much to my amazement, I saw a soft red glow ooze out from under the fence and slowly spread across the yard, leaving a blood red path in its wake which leads back to the vault.
It wound its way around one of the girls ignoring her as though trying to avoid her at all costs and slowly it proceeded to the other two girls and it enveloped them in its eerie red glow.
Then as suddenly as it all began, everything started to move and all the color came back into the world. The sky was azure blue, the pine a dark green and the cat had reverted back to his tabby colors. All was as it should be, except for the faint red glow in the two girl’s eyes.
I heard a voice echo in my mind as I found myself back in the vault, “all is as should be, and the curse is passed from generation to generation as it has been and as it will be, until the end of time.”
Next: Escape from Wonderland
Sunday, August 1, 2010
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To...
“Hmmm, now that was a sweet kiss!” Diane said as she brushed the hair from her eyes. “I love your kisses, I hope you know.” She added with a coy little smile.
“Of course I know; I can’t get you to stop kissing me.” I said as I shyly back away expecting her wrath.
“Oh, you are just so mean.” She said as she reached to grab my shirt and pull me closer to her. Then her lips locked tightly onto mine and I could feel her tongue softly caressing my bottom lip.
“My lady, you keep that up and we will be late for the party.” I said with my best British accent.
“I can never be late for anything with you.” She replied. “You always have to be on time and I just don’t understand why.” “I know that you have explained it to me a hundred times, but I just don’t get it.” She continued.
“Look, let’s get you in the bathroom and I’ll press your jeans for you while you change your clothes and I’ll explain it to you again, okay?” I queried.
“You just want to see me without my clothes on again, don’t you?” She accusingly asked. “Come on, admit it.”
I winked at her and said, “You really do know me don’t you?” “Now come on!” I said as I reached out for her hand and pulled her along with me into the bathroom.
As I was getting out the ironing board and iron, I continued. “Some people just don’t understand that there are no ‘what if’s’ in life.” I began.
“Have you been writing again?” Diane quipped.
“Yes, I have and I’m nearly finished with the final chapter of ‘The Deadream Alone’ then I’ll continue working on my other two books.”
As Diane disappeared into the closet to retrieve her blouse I heard her ask, “Oh, are you referring to the follow-up stories delving deeper into the Wonderland curse and its far reaching effects?”
“Yes, that’s right.” I replied. “So you really were listening to me when I told you the plots.” I said with a surprised look on my face.
“I always listen to you!” Diane said as she toss her blouse at me. “And don’t you forget it, buster.” She warned.
“Okay, okay!” “I won’t, now may I continue my story, PLEASE?”
She nodded her accent and I continued. “As I was saying, there are no ‘what if’s’ in the world, there is only ‘what is.’” “And the sooner we accept ‘what is’ the easier our lives will be”
“I’ve heard this before.” Diane said feigning boredom.
“’What if’s’ make for good story telling fodder, but ‘what is’ makes for a good life.” I paused and looked at Diane to see if she was confused or following me and then I continued. “I never blame anybody else for ‘what if’s’ and I don’t play the victim role either, I simply knew ‘what is’ then and now.”
I paused again and saw Diane smile and blow me a kiss as she stopped buttoning up her blouse.
“Do you remember how the story ended?” I asked.
“Yes, of course I do silly!” she said.
“Good, then you also know that I knew from day one that the Wonderland curse would never allow us to be together and that she would find someone else to turn to.” “Correct?”
“Yes, I knew that too.” Diane said.
“Well then, you also know, as I told everybody at ‘The One Headlight’ the other night, that I knew exactly how to push her away.” I said.
“I told her from the beginning that I was the strong one, but I knew that I would have to prove to be weak and wimpy, so that’s the way I acted.” I reiterated. “I learned from her previous relationships what she detested, which is most men by the way, and I exhibited those traits.”
“Yes, but you are the strong one and that’s just one of the many things that I LOVE about you, Lance.” She said as she leaned over and caressed my arm and kissed my hand.
“You better stop doing that Diane, or we ARE going to be late for the party.” I said as I scooped her up in my arms and carried her over to the bed. “Now put your jeans on so we can get going, please.” I pleaded.
“Of course I know; I can’t get you to stop kissing me.” I said as I shyly back away expecting her wrath.
“Oh, you are just so mean.” She said as she reached to grab my shirt and pull me closer to her. Then her lips locked tightly onto mine and I could feel her tongue softly caressing my bottom lip.
“My lady, you keep that up and we will be late for the party.” I said with my best British accent.
“I can never be late for anything with you.” She replied. “You always have to be on time and I just don’t understand why.” “I know that you have explained it to me a hundred times, but I just don’t get it.” She continued.
“Look, let’s get you in the bathroom and I’ll press your jeans for you while you change your clothes and I’ll explain it to you again, okay?” I queried.
“You just want to see me without my clothes on again, don’t you?” She accusingly asked. “Come on, admit it.”
I winked at her and said, “You really do know me don’t you?” “Now come on!” I said as I reached out for her hand and pulled her along with me into the bathroom.
As I was getting out the ironing board and iron, I continued. “Some people just don’t understand that there are no ‘what if’s’ in life.” I began.
“Have you been writing again?” Diane quipped.
“Yes, I have and I’m nearly finished with the final chapter of ‘The Deadream Alone’ then I’ll continue working on my other two books.”
As Diane disappeared into the closet to retrieve her blouse I heard her ask, “Oh, are you referring to the follow-up stories delving deeper into the Wonderland curse and its far reaching effects?”
“Yes, that’s right.” I replied. “So you really were listening to me when I told you the plots.” I said with a surprised look on my face.
“I always listen to you!” Diane said as she toss her blouse at me. “And don’t you forget it, buster.” She warned.
“Okay, okay!” “I won’t, now may I continue my story, PLEASE?”
She nodded her accent and I continued. “As I was saying, there are no ‘what if’s’ in the world, there is only ‘what is.’” “And the sooner we accept ‘what is’ the easier our lives will be”
“I’ve heard this before.” Diane said feigning boredom.
“’What if’s’ make for good story telling fodder, but ‘what is’ makes for a good life.” I paused and looked at Diane to see if she was confused or following me and then I continued. “I never blame anybody else for ‘what if’s’ and I don’t play the victim role either, I simply knew ‘what is’ then and now.”
I paused again and saw Diane smile and blow me a kiss as she stopped buttoning up her blouse.
“Do you remember how the story ended?” I asked.
“Yes, of course I do silly!” she said.
“Good, then you also know that I knew from day one that the Wonderland curse would never allow us to be together and that she would find someone else to turn to.” “Correct?”
“Yes, I knew that too.” Diane said.
“Well then, you also know, as I told everybody at ‘The One Headlight’ the other night, that I knew exactly how to push her away.” I said.
“I told her from the beginning that I was the strong one, but I knew that I would have to prove to be weak and wimpy, so that’s the way I acted.” I reiterated. “I learned from her previous relationships what she detested, which is most men by the way, and I exhibited those traits.”
“Yes, but you are the strong one and that’s just one of the many things that I LOVE about you, Lance.” She said as she leaned over and caressed my arm and kissed my hand.
“You better stop doing that Diane, or we ARE going to be late for the party.” I said as I scooped her up in my arms and carried her over to the bed. “Now put your jeans on so we can get going, please.” I pleaded.
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