I opened my eyes and found that I was back in the ‘One Headlight’ with my friends and loves. I shook my head as if I was trying to shake water off of me and I said, “Yeah, I’m okay, I think.” “I just had the weirdest dream, vision or I’m not sure exactly what, but I’m okay.”
Kieran looked at me with her chin cocked down and her lips pursed and pouted, “Did you go somewhere without me?”
Diane shot her an angry gaze and said, “you’re not going anywhere with him unless I’m with the two of you.”
“Look” I said, “We’ve been at this for hours and I’ve got to wrap it up, so here’s the big finale!” I said as I raised my hands above my head and waved them about.
“The world is full of torment, pain and agony.” I started with a grim look on my face. “The world is a hell of our own making, a putrid sea of fear, loss, loneliness and hopelessness.” I continued looking at each and every one of them directly making eye contact before moving on to the next person. “It is a place where we trap ourselves in the hell of our own confused, disjointed minds’ making and it’s not until we realize this that we can be take the first step to being free and in control.”
“We condemn ourselves to hell on earth through our own feelings of guilt, our unspoken sense of loss, whether real or imagined, and our inability not to be able to see past or move past those things that bind us into hell we create.”
I took a deep breath and continued while pointing a finger at Diane. “Guilt, fear, loss, loneliness and the pain that we imagine entombs us into the very fabric of the hell we have created and binds us to it.” I paused for effect and then continued. “We cannot escape it on our own.”
“Some of us suffer from not acting on the desires and dreams that we have in life and of life, some of our suffering is because of self-implied social edicts or pressures to conform, some of us suffer because of shyness and still others suffer because they try and superficially cover the ugliness and loneliness that they feel within themselves with the trappings of false beauty, impiety and the appearance of wealth on the outside.” I sighed, shook my head again and continued. “We try to be something that we are not so that others cannot see the darkness that is really lurking deep inside of us.”
Diane interrupted, “Like when someone says that they are ‘Real?’”
“Yes.” I said. “That’s a good example.” I looked at Nancy and said, “Remember the part of the story where Alice is bragging about how ‘real’ she is, well that’s just a cover for all of her insecurities, irrational fears and her sense of abandonment.” I paused and sipped my soda. “And I think that I just realized how all of that mess gets handed down from generation to generation.”
“Sometimes hell is what you don’t do and then you get swallowed up by shadow creatures from within the recesses of your own minds making.” I continued.
“Wonderland is a hell of someone’s making that will be passed down from generation to generation.”
I stood up and said, “I hope you all enjoyed the story.” I turned and took Diane’s hand and continued, “But my lady and I have places to go and things to do!” I turned and looked into her eyes and winked. “So, we will be on our way now.”
“Kieran, do you need a ride home? We’ll be glad to drop you off if you want.”
Kieran simply nodded her assent and bounded in right behind Diane as we left the ‘One Headlight’ arm in arm.
As I walked out of the noisy establishment, I looked to my right and noticed, for the first time an etching in the rough oak wood, an Ouroboros, the ancient symbol of a snake or sometimes a dragon in a circle eating its own tail. I stopped dead in my tracks and remembered one of the meanings behind this symbol. I turned to Diane and said, “I remember reading about this emblem, it represents the eternal cycle of things. Once they end, they start all over again.”
I paused and then felt a cold shiver run through my body. I continued, “But, I think I’ve realized another side of this drawing.” “Just like Alice, if we don’t make changes in our life, we will keep making the same mistakes, errors in judgment and we will hold onto the very fears that keep us bound in chains.”
I took a deep breath, “We have the power to break the vicious circle, but only if we realize that we are the problem as well as the solution.” “We sometimes need someone to help us understand the hell that we have enslaved ourselves in and then tear down the walls that trap us in the dark corners of our mind.”
“Our real problem lies with not wanting to see what is really inside of us.”
Diane looked deep into my eyes and said, “You’d still help her wouldn’t you?”
“I’d help anybody free themselves from hell especially knowing that they made it themselves, if they’d let me.” I said matter-of-factly. “But, even more importantly, to keep the terror and horror that is Wonderland from being passed from generation to generation.”
“In order to live life to the fullest, we must break free of the chains and shackles of our own minds” “Hell or Wonderland is a horrible place to exist in. You will never know what is it to live until you break free of the circle.”
“Wow, you danced around that question very well!” Diane quipped.
Diane took my arm and said, “Come on, let’s go and drop Kieran off at her home and then go look at the house we liked on John Ridge Cove.” “The nights calling me to break free of some of these chains that have me shackled to this world and I want you to help let me loose.” Diane said with a sheepish grin.
We walked across the lot to the car and started another adventure.
