Dancing with Mephisto

It has been recanted over and over throughout history and it is oh so very true, “It doesn’t matter what you feel, it matters what you do to and for the people that you say you love.”

Our feelings wax and wane like the wispy clouds flowing high above us on a blustery day. They come and go, not dependent upon anything save our moods, the emotional state of our being or our juxtaposition with those we say we supposedly love and care for. Unfortunately we allow our feelings to become the emotional playthings of Mephisto along with the ancient deities, “what’s in it for me” and “excitement.” These three dance among men as not but shadowy specters wrecking havoc, discord and strife with every relationship their cold boney hands touch.

We are called by a higher purpose, to guard and protect our hearts for the sake of those we say we love and care about, all the while ignoring the whims of emotion and the mockery of mere feelings. Love is not an emotion or a feeling; it is a commitment of the heart and soul. We are called to abide in our words and let our actions speak of our love and commitment to one and another all the while acknowledging that we are engaged in a dance with emotional ruin and pain lurking behind each next step.

Our feelings are merely a plaything during the dance of Mephisto while he is being supported by the musical accompaniments of “what’s in it for me” and “excitement.” These three labor in unison planting the seeds of discord and strife as their madding music plays on, rending even the strongest of human commitments asunder. These three intimately know the black nature of man, the unchanging spots of the leopard and the dark nature of the Black Scorpion.

As we dance with Mephisto and his unholy band we give in to our feelings, our whims of mere emotion and let Hypocrisy enter into the fray as we spin faster and faster down into the black dizzying void of the self. It is in this confused state of vertigo that we let go and fail to remember that it really matters what we do to and for those who we say we love and commit our hearts to. Instead of remembering this, we cling to the feelings of “what’s in it for me” and “excitement” and we lose our way back to reality; we heartily embrace Hypocrisy and hold on for fear of losing our very lives. Our arms flail about our ever faster spinning body, our legs become weak and will not support our carcass, our mind and thoughts becomes distorted and confused and we gladly give ourselves, body, soul and very life to these unholy three.

“I remember the night, the unsettling darkness that was over shadowing my very being. My thoughts were being assailed by black visions and shapes, indistinct and ghostly, like wisps of smoke rising from a dying ember against the gloomy sky. It was from these dark corners of my mind that I first glimpsed an indistinguishable figure moving towards me. I recoiled in terror as the shape; no shapes became clearer as the fog was lifted from before my vision and I heard the most unholy music resounding and echoing through the darkness.”

“There, taking shape in the mists before me was Mephisto, wildly dancing with the Black Scorpion, her arms flailing about, her hair wickedly thrashing through the air with a lost, confused but completely evil countenance upon her face. Behind them stood ‘what’s in it for me’ and 'excitement’ playing grotesque instruments made from the broken hopes and dreams of men and women.”

“The music played louder and louder as another figure entered the room and stepped forward, bowed and extended a boney hand. Hypocrisy said, ‘May I have this dance, my dear Black Scorpion?’ Gleefully the Black Scorpion accepted his offer and took his hand and his embrace. As they swirled around the room at a dizzying pace his decaying lips moved closer and closer to the Black Scorpions lips and I could almost smell his fetid breath as they kissed passionately and deeply. The Black Scorpion had given over completely and totally to her true nature.”

“What transpired next comes as no surprise to those who have felt the sting of the Black Scorpion. She left the embrace of Hypocrisy and moved with surreptitiousness across the floor edging closer and closer to the bed that I laid upon. In terror, I tried to get up and flee, but the unholy music seemed to bind my arms and legs to the very fabric of the bed and I was unable to even lift one finger.”

“She climbed on top of me as a chilling new fear swept over my body, one that I had felt before. For you see, this is not the first time that this Black Scorpion had abandoned my heart for ‘what’s in it for me’ and ‘excitement.’”

“Her claws caressed my flesh and I could smell the decaying fetid breath of Hypocrisy emanating from her lips and her mouth. I struggled with all my might to break free of these bonds holding me under her sway, but this struggle was to no avail. She leaned over and ever so gently brushed my lips with hers. Terror gripped my failing heart as I saw the shadow of her barbed tail rise out of the mists swirling around us as the music continued to wildly echo through the darkness.”

“As the music reached its crescendo, I felt the pressure and weight on my body increase and then, her tail struck. Her long, shining barb impaled itself deep into my chest, rending flesh, crushing bone and plunging deep into my pulsating heart. I writhed in agony as I felt her poison being pumped into my heart and its burning as it coursed through my veins. Pain and anguish ripped through my body, but this was nothing next to the agony yet to come.”

“The Black Scorpion smiled an evil smile as she ripped her barbed tail out of my chest removing my heart with it and there, before my very eyes, was my still beating heart. She held it up like some sort of warrior’s trophy and howled gleefully and she waved it high above her head.”

“As the music began to fade, she looked deep into my eyes and ever so gently placed my punctured heart back into the gaping hole that was once my chest, saying ‘we can still be friends, if you like.’”

“I awoke drenched in sweat and grasped my chest and found it to be whole. But, what I thought was but a dream was in truth a nightmare. The Black Scorpion had visited me and danced with Mephisto and Hypocrisy while ‘what’s in it for me’ and ‘excitement’ played instruments of broken hopes and dreams. I still feel the poison of that encounter coursing through my veins, burning and stinging and for who knows how long will this continue.”

Thankfully, God does not base his love for us upon simple feelings and he has shown and continues to show what true commitment and love is through the sacrifice of His Son on the cross for our sins of “what’s in it for me” and “excitement.”

Upcoming: The story of Hypocrisy, Mephisto and ‘The night of terror, April 2006’. Till then, may your dreams be peaceful and may you live now.